'Tis the season to exploit my Mom's abject horror of plastic yard flamingos. So far, she's getting -

• Rubber Bath Duck - Flamingo version
• Neon bedside flamingo
• Jammies! Obnoxious print pjs!
• Big metal garden sculpture LOL "Art"

None of it will top the birthday she woke up to 100 birds planted in her front yard, but the cumulative effect is nice.

I anticipate and fear the inevitable reprisal. Pretty sure it will involve smurfs in some way. Hate them.

HMC International bought the rights and molds for Don Featherstone's classic lawn flamingos from the original manufacturer. Union Products stopped producing them after a 50 year run, giving me Sad Times, as their bright pink birds are my favored weapon in my family's 15 year War of the Lawn Kitsch. I'm a purist about my tacky - the knockoffs just don't inspire the same love in me.

Just in time, too - I'm down to my last unopened box. Clearly, I am destined to prevail. Take THAT, Mother who prefers Tasteful Understatement! Prepare to wake up to a yard covered in them.

In a related note, my own are resting in the garage, secure from the weather. First tropical storm of the season has arrived, and I can't have them migrating - never found any traces of my pre-Charley flock.

I've learned it's never a good thing when The Weather Channel sends an anchor to your hometown. At least it's the second string today - when they send Cantore, it's time to head for Georgia.